You may have heard the expression that the road to hell is paved with good intentions - or maybe I just grew up with those words ringing in my ears because I am a dreamer. Tomorrow is the day I start that diet or finish the laundry. Or finally take that trip to Italy. There are so many things in life that interest or intrigue me that I lose my way. There are bucket lists and check lists galore. So many places to go, people to see and things to be experienced. Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter and now TikTok are rabbit holes that drown a dreamer like me.
These last few years flew by and one of the the things that did not get attended to was this blog. I added it to my to-do list over and over again, yet I also allowed other ideas and dreams to rise above it. Until one day I decided to stop fooling myself and took it off the list all together.
All of a sudden I was winding my way back up that road and away from the hell I created for myself. Forcing myself to write on a schedule set me up for frustration and started me on that road to hell. I’m not a professional writer and the point of this blog is not to show you how smart/insightful/important I am. And you didn’t need much help to figure that out! The reason I try to write this blog is to share my self. Life is hard and messy and I am too. We have so many “perfect” images thrust in front of us that we forget nearly all of it is staged and airbrushed and photoshopped and curated.
Yet our daily lives are far from perfect, or at least mine is. I get cranky, forget important dates, misplace my keys and believe a bowl of cereal eaten over the sink counts as dinner. Yet it is also true that I am a damn good therapist. I see people overcome their struggles, get over heartbreak and restart their lives. I am honored they allow me to be a guide and share the journey with them.
I know how hard it can be to finally ask for help and begin therapy. Just the process of finding a therapist is daunting - even if you have been in therapy before. Recommendations from family, trusted friends and other health professionals can often be a great starting place. I’m a big fan of hands on knowledge so recommendations are my first go-to. Next place to look might be on one of the many provider directories available. The most well known is Psychology Today and there are so many other’s that are as good or better options. I especially like Being Seen, Therapy Den and Therapist.com. There are fabulous niche directories too - HeadUpGuys.org for men and depression, Therapy for Black Girls for black women and girls, Open Path for reduced fee services. Then there is a new line of matching services like Headway, Alma, and ZocDoc. This last group matches you with therapists who take your insurance, which can make things a lot easier. Of course you have the lists your insurance company may give you too. I find it most useful to cross match therapists I’m interested in with these lists to narrow down my options. Lastly there are direct to consumer services like BetterHelp and TalkSpace. I’m not a fan of these services simply for the way they treat their therapists. Your mileage my vary :p
One thing you may want to consider when seeking out a therapist is going the private pay or out of pocket route. There are many good reasons why you may choose to pay for therapy without using your insurance. The number one reason I hear is someone’s concern about their privacy. Using your insurance creates a medical records trail that can may be accessed by a whole host of entities. I have short report about this issue that you can download on my resources page.
It’s usually helpful to have a few names to begin with. Some therapists won’t have availability, some might be out of your budget or some may no longer take your particular insurance policy. Then there is the awkward problem of actually speaking with a therapist. We don’t pick up our phones while in session with our clients and then have a significant amount of paperwork to complete, leaving little time to actually return phone calls. Unfortunately, it is not unusual for a therapist to not respond to your inquiry call. It’s not my favorite thing about my profession yet the pressure of supply and demand leaves everyone with less resources and time. I prefer setting up a free consultation. All it takes is a few clicks and you have my guaranteed attention. Most folks seem to know right off the bat if we are a good fit to work together and have a few questions about how that might work out. Sometimes we don’t “click” but that’s not a problem either. I have wonderful relationships with colleagues that I can refer you to that will work better for you. Most times the reason I refer clients to someone else is that I may not have the skillset they need to address their unique problem or our availability simply doesn’t match up.
“ “Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.” ”
In my next blog I will continue with this process and share the things you can do to get yourself ready to have the best therapy outcomes.