New Year, New You!

Fresh NEW Start!

Turn over a new leaf!!

Shut the *F* up!!!

It doesn’t much matter if everyone else is struggling too; if I hear one more cheery word about the new year, I’m going to lose my sh*t. I AM the person who has been staying home, keeping 6 feet apart and wearing a mask outside my home. My commute is often from my bedroom, to my desk, to my couch, and back again. Zoom for work, zoom for family & friends, and another zoom for community connections. I’ve binged a bazillion shows on Netflix, Amazon, HBOMax, and Disney+. and my eyes ache from all the screen time.

Life as we knew it is forever changed and that change is oftentimes hard to accept. I miss the ability to spontaneously pop out to grab a bite or people watch at a local café. I miss waiting on line for the big movie opening and crowded, bustling streets. I miss live music and the community of like-minded, passionate friends who create a connection that goes far beyond the music world. I am yearning for the chance to travel and explore. I’m frustrated and downright angry at the dreams postponed, faded, or lost.

You can bet that I, too, am looking forward to the end of 2020. But it doesn’t quite follow that I am looking forward to 2021. No, I’m not feeling hopeless. It’s more of a feeling of being adrift. None of the typical landmarks are obvious to point me to a new beginning. My couch is so comfy. It’s too cold and it gets dark early so why bother to go for a walk. There are no parties to entice me to leave my cocoon. And all of that leaves me feeling . . . meh.

So I began to practice what I preach. I’ve reached out to my therapist for support. I’ve followed her advice and I’ve made myself step outside into the cold winter air whether the sun is shining or it’s another gloomy day. I challenge myself to walk just a little bit farther than I did the last time. But sometimes I can only congratulate myself for poking my nose outside the front door. And that’s OK too. I’m learning how to make small changes that add up to big differences - just like I try to teach my clients. I learn so much from my client’s too - their bravery to take risks, to share their darkness, and to celebrate their successes, teaches me how strong and tender the human spirit is. They teach me to face the tough stuff, to be gentle with myself and most importantly, to believe in the power of human connection.

I’m allowing myself the gift of time to slowly break free from stagnation - whether it is pandemic induced or otherwise. I don’t have to change it all in one day and neither do you. Let’s agree to make one small change today that we can use to pivot into the direction of our dreams.

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued . . .”
Dr. Brene Brown

Leave a comment below and share what small change you can make today.

I don’t know about you, but I want my output on social media to be nearly flawless. While I often rail about the foolishness of a curated view of life I can fall under the spell of perfection too. I often find myself waiting for the perfect time to begin a blog, clean out my closet, or watch that documentary everyone is talking about. But somehow, that time doesn’t seem to pop up or I find a million reasons to disqualify the timing. Or worse, I procrastinate so long that the opportunity or goal is long gone by the time I start taking action.

Ugghhh, you would think I would know better by now, yet it is a lesson I find myself needing to learn over and over again. It’s so much more fun to buy all the new fancy tools and dream about my project than it is to sit down and do the actual work. The wackiest part is that I actually enjoy the work and that my satisfaction comes with the doing and rarely with the done. I can accept the fact that projects don’t always go as planned and that mistakes, sometimes awfully embarrassing mistakes, will happen, and that I will still be OK.

So, it is time to begin again - where I am and with what I have. Of course, I have been tempted to “start fresh in the new year” or wait until the dumpster fire called 2020 is out. Instead, I have decided to be a diamond with a flaw - or maybe simply a perfectly imperfect human. I hope you join me on this adventure.