It’s not as hard as you think
I may have a few insider secrets to share.
In my last post, Paved The Way, I spoke about how hard it can be to stick to our plans and take that first step to find a therapist. I gave you a few resources where to gather some names and begin the process of seeing who will actually work for you.
Believe it or not, that is the easy part. Narrowing down thousands of professionals to a dozen or so possibilities goes quickly simply because there are so many ways to eliminate options.
“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”
There are group practices which may give you more options for immediate access, partnerships with only two or three members or individual therapists who work alone. Perhaps you only want to see a therapist via telehealth or conversely you only want to see someone in person- that takes quite a few folks off the list. You may have a preference for gender, affiliations or alliances. You can sort the list further by area of concern (anxiety, depression, life cycle transitions, substance abuse etc.) This is a bit more important from my point of view because you want to be sure the person you are connecting with is trained and knowledgeable in what is going on in your life.
You may have the option of sorting by the type of therapy being offered. If you have never been to therapy before, don’t worry about the type too much. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Psychoanalytic, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR are all terms you may hear. The right fit is far more important that the style.
Therapists come from all kinds of education and licenses such as Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW, like me), Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Psychologist (MA, Ph.D or PsyD) Psychiatrist (MD) and Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP).
One of the biggest factors to consider are the financial options. As I mentioned in Part 1, there are a lot of considerations on why you would or wouldn’t want to use your insurance to pay for your therapy. I know I keep saying this yet it is so crucial it bears repeating - the fit and connection with the right therapist makes all the difference. Your mental health is invaluable, please be kind and generous to yourself.
Phew, you have gotten list down to a manageable size. What’s next?
When the focus is on using a therapist who takes your insurance I begin this next phase by cross referencing the names I’ve gathered from family, friends and directories against the lists complied by insurance companies. This still isn’t foolproof, yet it does give you a fairly good chance of working out in your favor.
Reach out to the therapists that seem to meet your criteria and also trust your intuition. Use your favorite means of communication yet keep an open mind. Some clients strongly prefer phone calls, while others are more comfortable with email or even texts. Some therapists may have scheduling options on their websites too. I am usually in session during working hours and that means I can rarely pick up the phone. I prefer to be reached by email and people can even schedule a free consultation directly from my website.
I know how hard it is to be patient when you have come this far yet more patience is needed. It’s not surprising that that there is a high demand for therapy these days. There are wait lists, therapists with full caseloads, and limited availability. It may be several days before a therapist can get back to you and unfortunately, some never will. It’s perfectly acceptable to follow up if you haven’t heard back within a week.
So here we are - you have a consultation or starting session lined up and you’re wondering - where do I start? This is a great time to ask the therapist about their background, expertise and successes. You can ask them if they are directive, do they give homework or expect you to do anything between sessions. Feel free to tell them you are anxious about this new process. And be open to questions too. Remember both you and the therapist have to feel like you can work together well.
Most folks seem to get a sense fairly quickly if this is a good match for them or not. If this therapist “feels right” take the next step and book a full (or another) appointment. Ask about some of the basics of scheduling, contact outside of session and any other expectations. Sometimes you and the therapist may be a good fit yet the therapist doesn’t have the appropriate skillset to help you effectively. If that is the case when you are with me, I will make sure you receive appropriate referrals from colleagues I know and trust. If we are a good fit to work together, I will schedule another appointment with you at the end of consultation. You will receive a link to my patient portal where you can read, review and sign all the document we need to get started. Every therapist or group has their own methods and procedures though we all have some of the same basics, so your mileage may vary. Unlike other medical professionals we do NOT double book. Please remember your therapist has set aside the time for you alone. Please be considerate and cancel appropriately if you are unable to make the consultation or session.
If you would like to take me up on my free consultation you can book it here: https://www.pivotalmomentstherapy.com/booking
Let me know in the comments if you would like more content on starting therapy, what the first session might be like or anything else.