Yet our daily lives are far from perfect, or at least mine is. I get cranky, forget important dates, misplace my keys and believe a bowl of cereal eaten over the sink counts as dinner. Yet it is also true that I am a damn good therapist. I see people overcome their struggles, get over heartbreak and restart their lives. I am honored they allow me to be a guide and share the journey with them.
It’s not as hard as you think
I may have a few insider secrets to share.
In my last post, Paved The Way, I spoke about how hard it can be to stick to our plans and take that first step to find a therapist. I gave you a few resources where to gather some names and begin the process of seeing who will actually work for you.
Believe it or not, that is the easy part. Narrowing down thousands of professionals to a dozen or so possibilities goes quickly simply because there are so many ways to eliminate options.
“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”
There are group practices which may give you more options for immediate access, partnerships with only two or three members or individual therapists who work alone. Perhaps you only want to see a therapist via telehealth or conversely you only want to see someone in person- that takes quite a few folks off the list. You may have a preference for gender, affiliations or alliances. You can sort the list further by area of concern (anxiety, depression, life cycle transitions, substance abuse etc.) This is a bit more important from my point of view because you want to be sure the person you are connecting with is trained and knowledgeable in what is going on in your life.
You may have the option of sorting by the type of therapy being offered. If you have never been to therapy before, don’t worry about the type too much. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Psychoanalytic, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR are all terms you may hear. The right fit is far more important that the style.
Therapists come from all kinds of education and licenses such as Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW, like me), Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Psychologist (MA, Ph.D or PsyD) Psychiatrist (MD) and Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP).
One of the biggest factors to consider are the financial options. As I mentioned in Part 1, there are a lot of considerations on why you would or wouldn’t want to use your insurance to pay for your therapy. I know I keep saying this yet it is so crucial it bears repeating - the fit and connection with the right therapist makes all the difference. Your mental health is invaluable, please be kind and generous to yourself.
Phew, you have gotten list down to a manageable size. What’s next?
When the focus is on using a therapist who takes your insurance I begin this next phase by cross referencing the names I’ve gathered from family, friends and directories against the lists complied by insurance companies. This still isn’t foolproof, yet it does give you a fairly good chance of working out in your favor.
Reach out to the therapists that seem to meet your criteria and also trust your intuition. Use your favorite means of communication yet keep an open mind. Some clients strongly prefer phone calls, while others are more comfortable with email or even texts. Some therapists may have scheduling options on their websites too. I am usually in session during working hours and that means I can rarely pick up the phone. I prefer to be reached by email and people can even schedule a free consultation directly from my website.
I know how hard it is to be patient when you have come this far yet more patience is needed. It’s not surprising that that there is a high demand for therapy these days. There are wait lists, therapists with full caseloads, and limited availability. It may be several days before a therapist can get back to you and unfortunately, some never will. It’s perfectly acceptable to follow up if you haven’t heard back within a week.
So here we are - you have a consultation or starting session lined up and you’re wondering - where do I start? This is a great time to ask the therapist about their background, expertise and successes. You can ask them if they are directive, do they give homework or expect you to do anything between sessions. Feel free to tell them you are anxious about this new process. And be open to questions too. Remember both you and the therapist have to feel like you can work together well.
Most folks seem to get a sense fairly quickly if this is a good match for them or not. If this therapist “feels right” take the next step and book a full (or another) appointment. Ask about some of the basics of scheduling, contact outside of session and any other expectations. Sometimes you and the therapist may be a good fit yet the therapist doesn’t have the appropriate skillset to help you effectively. If that is the case when you are with me, I will make sure you receive appropriate referrals from colleagues I know and trust. If we are a good fit to work together, I will schedule another appointment with you at the end of consultation. You will receive a link to my patient portal where you can read, review and sign all the document we need to get started. Every therapist or group has their own methods and procedures though we all have some of the same basics, so your mileage may vary. Unlike other medical professionals we do NOT double book. Please remember your therapist has set aside the time for you alone. Please be considerate and cancel appropriately if you are unable to make the consultation or session.
If you would like to take me up on my free consultation you can book it here: https://www.pivotalmomentstherapy.com/booking
Let me know in the comments if you would like more content on starting therapy, what the first session might be like or anything else.
Money worries and financial hardship can be tough to deal with, and it's even harder when you feel like you're struggling alone. For many people, financial anxiety is accompanied by feelings of shame and embarrassment, especially when they compare themselves to friends who seem to have it all together. But the truth is, financial struggles are a common part of life, and there's no reason to feel ashamed.
As a parent and a sports fan, it can be challenging to balance the thrill and excitement of watching your favorite team compete with your responsibilities as a caregiver. However, for some parents, the intensity and anxiety of the experience can be overwhelming, and it can affect their children in ways they may not realize. I will not be talking about parents of young athletes in this post but do let me know if that is something you are interested in.
If you find yourself feeling overly anxious or stressed when watching sports, it's important to take steps to manage your emotions, not only for your own well-being, but also for the sake of your children. Here are some tips for navigating the intensity of sports fandom as a parent:
Set a positive example
Children learn from what they see, so try to set a positive example by managing your emotions and behavior when watching sports. Avoid excessive celebration or frustration, and focus on enjoying the game in a healthy and balanced way.
Talk to your children about the game
Involve your children in the experience of watching a game, and talk to them about the strategies and skills of the players. Explain the rules of the game and answer any questions they may have. Learning the specifics of a sport, a team or players can add to the enjoyment and help keep emotions in their proper perspective.
Take breaks together
If you start to feel overwhelmed, it's okay to take a break from the game. Step away from the television, go for a walk, or do something else with your children to take your mind off the game. This is great to do as a general practice. Use commercial breaks, time outs or other diversions to shift your attention and allow yourself to bring the stress down.
Encourage healthy competition
If your children show an interest in sports, encourage them to participate in healthy competition and support their interests. However, be sure to emphasize that winning is not the only goal, and that participating and having fun are just as important. Accept that your kids may be interested in other forms of competition that don't include sports.
Practice self-care and prioritize your well-being
Finally, make sure to practice self-care and prioritize your own well-being. Take care of your physical and emotional health, and try to maintain a balance between sports fandom and other aspects of your life.
If you find that you are still struggling to manage the intensity and anxiety of sports fandom, it may be helpful to consider working with a therapist. A therapist can provide you with additional strategies for managing your emotions and help you identify the underlying causes of your anxiety. They can also help you build a healthier relationship with sports and ensure that your fandom does not interfere with your responsibilities as a parent or other aspects of your life.
The upcoming Super Bowl is a prime example of a high-stakes, high-anxiety sports event. If you're a parent and a fan, remember to manage your emotions and behavior, and set a positive example for your children. With these tips and the support of a therapist, you can navigate the intensity of sports fandom, enjoy the experience of watching your favorite team compete, and ensure that your children learn healthy habits and behaviors when it comes to sports and competition.
Being a parent and a sports fan can be a balancing act, but it's important to manage your emotions and behavior in order to set a positive example for your children. By taking breaks, talking to your children, encouraging healthy competition, practicing self-care, and considering therapy, you can navigate the intensity of sports fandom, enjoy the experience of watching your favorite team compete, and ensure that your children learn healthy habits and behaviors when it comes to sports and competition."
If you're experiencing emotional distress, the resources below provide free and confidential support 24/7.
If this is an emergency, call 911 or 988
Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line Text HOME to 741741
